Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Why I Don't Need A Gym Membership

Not that I am sure I could find the time to actually go to the gym if I did have a membership. I mean, seriously, have you met my people? They tend to be busy. I'm exhausted by the end of the day.

Some days more than others.

The morning was smooth, or at least as smooth as a day with five young children gets. Minimal bickering, overall happiness and helpfulness. We call that smooth.

But at some point, the yarn began to unravel and fray. It started with the frantic cries of Anna.

"Mommy! I need to go poddy!!"

I was in the middle of sauteing peppers and onions to add to our dinner dish later that evening. I dropped the spoon and dashed upstairs. It was too late, though. She had panicked and quit thinking. Anna, dressed in her dress up princess gown, had sat down on the potty and relieved herself.

With her underwear up and her gown dangling in the bowl of her little potty seat.

"Did you have an accident?", I asked her.

"No. I put my pee-pee in da poddy."

In her mind, she had made it to the potty in time and it didn't matter that her clothes were wet and now dripping and dragging all over the bathroom floor. I helped her out of her clothes and plopped her in the bathtub with the water running. I figured an early bath might be the order of the day.

I mopped up the mess and then headed downstairs to grab my trusty steam mop. Once back upstairs, I turned it on and checked the water level in the bathtub. I was just about to steam sanitize the floor when the doorbell rang. I took off down the stairs to answer. I peeked through the blinds and saw that it was not a 'real' visitor but somebody with something to sell.

Now, you may never even think of doing this. You may be able to turn people away quickly and politely, but I get stuck listening to a while lot of jabber about something I am either a) totally disinterested in, or b)totally disinterested in paying for. And my house takes major blows because the children abuse the fact that Mommy is distracted and get into all manner of mischief. Knowing all that, I walked back upstairs. Without answering the door.

Yup. That's right. I am that rude. Care to come for a visit?

I got half-way upstairs when a scream ripped through the air. My older two girls were airing their opinions as to who was right and who was wrong about what, I don't know. Nor did I particularly care. There are those screams that need a referee, but then there are screams that just need a swift and firm reminder as to the important things in life. So I went back down the steps. (I think the scream scared the person at the door away)

Once each girl had verbally professed that she deemed her sister much more important than the skirmish at hand, I finally made my way to the bathroom. Where the bathtub was more than a little too full. I slapped the water off and opened the drain to let some of it out. Anna got a bit panicky as the open drain and needed me to hold her hands until the water was at a more appropriate level and I could re-engage the drain plug.

At about that moment, Thomas hollered at me that the kitchen was on fire. I flew down the steps and into the kitchen to see smoke coming from the stove top.

I'd forgotten all about the skillet full of butter and onions and peppers. It was a lost cause. I removed the carnage from the heat, turned on the vent fan, and stared dismally at the remnants.

We were having guests for dinner and I had just ruined the major flavor contributors.

As I was contemplating what to do, I heard Thomas holler at me again. Daniel had done the deed and was leaking around the edges. So I changed the baby, calmed him down, and went back up the steps.

Sarah came skipping into the bathroom and asked why Anna was in the bathtub and could she get in with her? Sure, why not. Two clean kids for the price of one. Elizabeth was close on Sarah's heels in asking to get in the tub. I sent the girls down stairs to drop their dress-up clothes in the proper place.

While they were gone, I took advantage of the 'quiet' to finally mop the bathroom. Thomas came around the corner and asked if he could mop the kitchen for our guests tonight.

Love that boy. I sighed with contentment, handed him the steam mop, kissed his head and sent him on his way. I had just finished washing Anna's little body when Sarah Grace called up the steps that our guests had arrived.

Leaving Anna happily playing the water, I headed down the steps and realized that I hadn't folded the load of laundry that was dumped on the couch and that every chair in the living room was filled with books or toys or dress-up clothes. The girls bounded out the front door to greet Mrs. C and her baby as I flew around the living room trying to clear the seating in a room that had been mostly clean just a half hour ago.

Once Mrs C and little Zoe were made comfortable, I shooed the girls upstairs to go ahead and bathe. And then I asked Mrs C to watch two sleeping babies and a tub full of girls while Thomas and I ran to the grocery store to grab a few more peppers. I still had hopes of salvaging dinner.

I made my way back up the steps and made sure all the girls remembered to not dump all the water over board and to not aggravate one another by pouring water on someone else's head. Mrs C followed me up and very graciously took over with the girls whilst I high-tailed it back down the steps and off to the store.

There were several more trips up and down the steps last night, but honestly, the story you just got took place in just over half an hour.

Fortunately, the Lord saw fit to remind me in the moment to laugh and enjoy it. As hectic as it was, I was happy to be in the middle of the crazy.

And at least I got my step-aerobics for the day out of the way!!


Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae said...

Oooo, look! your very own vortex of adventure!

Laura Forman said...

most definitely your own vortex!

Anonymous said...

Hats off to parents of large young families!! You and Joshua make it look so easy and do a great job!